(Insert Random Gibberish Here)
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I’m not mistaken those are lyrics from a song and its been stuck in my head for a quite while. But what to do, I’m emo and I have every right to use every ounce of emo artillery at hand. So I’ve been told that I’m making a habit of being emo. Don’t worry. After this you won’t have to bother with me anymore.
It seems odd that yesterday was even allowed to happen. I still wonder whether I’m stuck in some dillusion but I know that in the morning I’ll wake up feeling the same way; wondering where something so special went wrong and how we messed up. How I messed up.
I wanted to ask for many more things but it just doesn’t feel right to pull favours at this time. I wanted to ask you if we could ever be friends again. I wanted to ask you to tell me when you’re sad and when you’re happy so I can at least try to make things better. I wanted you to know that everything I ever got for you no matter whether they were already given or currently sitting in a plastic bag in your room still belongs to you. They’re yours to keep. You can tear them up and destroy them if the sight of them brings too much pain. Its all your property. But then again, this is the one time I think you’ll agree when I say I know my place. I can’t ask for things like that. It’s plain absurd.
..
Towards the end, I really did try and its saddening when you accuse me of rarely making an effort. But given our current situation, I guess its just never meant to be no matter how hard I tried. I guess that in the end I realised that and just gave up. Thats probably my fault too.
So anyway, I hope you’ll find someone that can truly make you happy one day. And.. And.. I don’t know. I don’t like the way this ends. It feels like its hanging. Everything seems to be at a cliffhanger these days.
…
I feel like those numbers were for nothing.
Blog closed indefinitely.
