Lately I’ve been thinking about love/the emotion that people think they feel when they’ve lost all sense and become infatuated with another being. Phrases like ‘That no matter what, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will always love you no matter what’ or ‘That I will never be able to shut up about you, because I will never be able to stop thinking about you.’
Ah naivety.
Ah innocence. The pure act of building a world around just two people and proudly annoucing that your love is unconditional.
It doesn’t really work out in the end does it? Phrases like ‘I will love you forever till the day I die, my love’ shows promise of a life of eternal love. Thats crap though cause what they really mean deep down is
‘I love you for as long as you don’t cheat on me.’
‘I love you for as long as you earn enough money to fulfil my wants and needs.’
‘I love you for as long as you don’t abuse me.’
‘I love you for as long as you want me.’
‘I love you for as long as you be the person I want you to be.’
There is no such thing as unconditional love. The moment your partner does something stupid like cheat on you, give you an STD, steal all your money and runaway to a distant country to spend it on a some bimbo or hit you in the face, you pack your bags and leave. Even if you try to work it out, by Round Two or Three you would’ve given up and left anyway. We don’t really love people. We love the idea of what they can give us and the illusion of what we think they are. Cause as soon as we get caught in a situation that threatens our love, we turn our backs and walk the other way. And we can’t even love ourselves unconditionally as we start to curse our stupidity and damn the existence of our former selves.
Every morning when we wake up we take one of these two pills called ‘Love’ or ‘Waiting for Love’. Then as the pills take effect we go about our everyday motions and live through said misconception. I’m not doing that anymore. I just pop in a placebo as a formality and do what I want. It’s more self-fulfilling and I’m pretty damn satisfied with what I have right now. Big emphasis on satisfied.
